Everything sucks.
currently bugs me everything. I have no idea what's going on in my life.
First, there is the distance to my friends.
Yurii, Eve, Fia, Zhani.
All these people and many more I miss her so infinite. Since I
in Cologne was a few months ago, had done most intense with all these people something, heights have been overcome as deep. . It is simply an intolerable feeling that I feel. I would like see her again until next year, not all / in 6 months. I think this is never done. I need them, just as I need my people here in Berlin. You all have such a big place in my heart.
Fortunately, at least I can still see Fia this year - it is from 27.12.-30.12. come to me. I'm looking mad at them. (:... ♥
Another issue would be ER I did not have to sink before so deep I did not again fall into such a feeling of chaos, must go through the same crap again in any manner, the time with Duc me has already . served in this case I can not speak of love - yet I only know that I have to put deep inside. as soon as I get out again. His perfection is just unbelievable. I hate it. I hate the, fact that he deals with each girl so. Although there are only small things, it seems to me very important. Me n to take the arm to tell me constantly how important I told him I arrive with "infinite love", I make constant compliments because of my smile, give me a kiss on the back of the head and just take my hand, just about me to carry out a mass of people. [+ Save me from people moshing haha]
Today in English, he has again held my hand all the time. Why? I do not understand why he does to me that he knows of nothing but my thoughts .. yet.
think I had also in English at Duke, and everything has become so beastly felt known, that it has brought me to tears almost. But I was so ill probably cry in front of him .. haha I can also take back my entry said before - no, maybe it is enough just to be friends with him. It hurts. And I'm
generally dissatisfied with my life. I have a very nice life in comparison to others, I am aware of this. Sogut as an intact family, great friends, great freedom - no reason to complain. But
school bothers me. I know that I am myself to blame. I could even sit down and learn once, but I just do not have motivation, because I know eh, I have no special talent in any way, so why exert yourself?
later I will regret this attitude, that's clear to me.
What the hell. how I am. stupid, narrow-minded, naive. always funny to me - not.
wonderful sense of free and total depressive entry.
Good night.
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