Meet Team FAIL and the boy, who finally called Alex. This chapter is (almost) anything happened, so is also slating again liven
title of the story: Vampire Kiss .
Fandom: Harry Potter .
Author's Name: black angel The boring plot: Harry is Voldemort's son . And a demon. In addition, he is actually Alex and Dumbledore is evil. Voldemort and Snape are on top of that a couple and stay in a Manor. Ergo, everything is as always in Badficland!
The anti-quality of the characters: Badfic So Dumbledore is quite in character ...
The most typical RS / G error: push one's tears to the eyes
if you missed the first part should go, not fate, but right here
Part 2 lives the way
here.
Excerpts from the worst of the story: Severus gave Tom a kiss as she left the room. Tom Snape moved closer to his body and deepened the kiss. The two parted them only when the air was avoided. They looked into the eyes of love. 5th Visit home
[Snape and Tom caressing practice in accordance with the typical fanfic text box building block principle. In addition, Tom is preparing for his "work" on it, Harry] in the evening finally reveal his true name to ~ In the evening I still have some decisions to make Harry and persuade. ~ Tom thought as he began to work.
[Toms dignity "work" described less vague, so now everyone knew that it crosses the "work" with sea urchin bulbs to create the dreaded Seebirnen to the people to take the light. No, seriously, imagine this: Prickly bulbs! How should because someone can screw?] [housewife Snape wants Harry to look for a small room and by thoroughly cleaning it first. And then he would set it up with Harry together, because they are now finally a family.] Severus found himself in the bathroom when he came another thought.
[, back there on the dimension column should I urgently need a nail board '] ~ We have to get Harry's stuff from his relatives. We should do right after Harry is woken up. ~ Severus thought as he headed to the balcony, the view to see.
[Snape looks into the garden and is then informed that Harry has even Schröck allelic nightmares from which he was not awakened. Snape finds that Harry shows someone with a bad-dream-spell has, and removes it] ~ I should talk to Tom about it afterwards. How can one child do this to? ~
[Harry wakes up from the fact that Snape stroked his cheek. Then snuggle the two.] "Tell me what you think about Harry when we get your things from your relatives and bring in your room?" Severus asked Harry. Harry looked at Severus
upset.
~ I should go back to the Dursleys, but why?
[has your Adoptivpapi said in the same sentence, Schnucki] ~ thought Harry. By slowly trickled the rest of the information in his mind.
~ I should get my things there and after which they get my own room. ~
[clauses needed always a little longer, until they arrived at Harry, but that Tom never discouraged from loving him as a normal child apart ... from the couple of years in which he tried to kill Harry, of course] steel at the thought of a smile on Harry's trains. Severus was shocked as Harry at once was so repellent and then radiated Harry.
He could not explain the behavior of Harry, but he crept a terrible suspicion.
[Harry is an ax murderer.] "And you will stay with me all the time?" Asked Harry anxiously.
[Snape promises that he never leave Harry alone and protect forever and ever will. And while the readers are busy eating their last meal back, the scenes have been replaced:] Apparated the two together in a street in a dark area of London.
[Yes, the district is actually in full at any time of day, dark, since Dumbledore has made its threat to build a dome above, which excludes the sun. (Yes because you thought that Dumbledore is evil, the writers would come up only Badfic? The only reason why Superman still has not intervened, is that he is American, and it is his priority has to fight against Sarah Palin and her laser-Grizzly Bear. ALSO it was up to Voldi-Poldi and his allies to save the day ... now you also know what Tom is "working" really the beginning of the chapter, and yes, Voldi-Poldi is his superhero alias, and Tom's top-identity. In the battle he rides on an underwater rainbow unicorn )
Yes, in the Horn can live up to 3 parallel hermit crabs] [Eh, but that's just the least interesting B-plot, this fic. only subliminally plays a role. So back to more important Things: "And as we are now in Privet Drive"] Harry asked very curious.
"We should take a taxi, because everything else would fall to the lot at currently and the Order
[Dumbledore's association of lower super villains. You know, like in Max Part 1 The added concern for the anti-sun dome by the way the screws] attract only. I hope this is ok for you, otherwise we can survive what else
[tsunamis, earthquakes, strange lights in the sky, surprise attacks from sea urchins ...] get to go there, "replied Severus and looked at Harry.
"No, that Taxi is all right, "said Harry
[to survive the taxi ride is the easiest] . So the matter was decided.
[And then the two go by taxi from the middle of London somewhere in the periphery. Hey, Tom has a Manor with an infinite number of bathrooms and lounges. Thus, a taxi ride is peanuts.] [Snape Harry enchanted so that it looks again like a human, so remember the Dursleys and can not tell from Dumbledore. It noted Snape that Harry is so much more shy and cute and sweet as he had ever imagined, and the two snuggle something] [Vernon wants to beat up Harry, meanwhile, He hardly sees Harry, which of course prevents Snape and Vernon bombarded with the usual threats. . The Dursleys are super-intimidated and Harry he goes to his room to pack their bags] [Snape is shocked lived in what poverty Harry - his one-grubby ceiling basement has become the way into a room one bed, a cupboard and a broken desk turns - but it really begins to hate the Dursleys, when he sees that Harry has just ugly clothes. Ergo, he plans in mind to kill the Dursleys and then go shopping with Harry] [pitied Snape still felt 134 times Harry's poverty, threatening the Dursleys and then this extremely boring section finally finished] In the hall he took the suitcase and Harry Apparated with him directly in the lobby.
[Snape Harry wants his new show room] "Here is your room and right next to our room. So if you are looking for because we
are [Rumsen hear loud, then we have only level right next to you violent sex] . And you can always come to us, "said Severus
[and now I regret this idea] and gave way into Harry's room.
[The room is so empty that Harry brought tears to the eyes drives. Native] "I will call a house elf, and with which you can then set up the room all alone or shall I help you?" Severus asked Harry to look.
"How often do you mean?" Asked Harry.
"Simple
[, use of tits, Harry! 583 blue tits can work together within 2 hours, a whole shelf-Billy to the third floor to assemble and maneuver.] this here is your room what you can you set yourself. Here is the main room and there is the bathroom
["room" in Slytherin Manor basically means sharing in the main room next room and then bathroom. This sounds cool at first glance, but leads logically to minor problems in the actual bathroom, which requires a bathroom with more and more divided bathrooms.] and you have so even a balcony
[There was an attempt to Slytherin Manor draw who finally killed MC Escher] . So I will help you set up the room
[, the tits,] or prefer a house elf? "Said Severus Harry as he showed him the things.
[All, except the bathroom the bathroom. As Harry's room was a guest room was still, even a magician named Maximilian Klonkadinkel been a guest of the bathroom at night with sleep by the false Left door. If hear young house-elves in the Manor at night, strange noises, they tell the elders, it was merely Klonkadinkels mind that in the infinite bathrooms, the toilet flush uses and still looks the way back - in the empty, empty main room with the sunny balcony. ] Harry went to Severus and looked at him shyly. "If you do not mind I would like to set up the room with a house elf," Harry said very shy
[Harry did not believe in to protect the house slaves. And he was also suspicious enough already without blue tits as a Disney princess] . Severus smiled and nodded with the head in order to then say to that something.
"No, not as bad as that. You can show me it when the room is ready.
[The fine is determined, and then hang your father and I to the fridge to your other projects] removed [Snape Harry Tarnzauber, that is, he now looks back, as the mascot of an extremely confused Glam Rock-Death Metal crossover band] Harry, meanwhile, waited for the appearance of the fairy. In the meantime, he looked around the room. He went to the door which said Severus, that was behind the bathroom.
[Oh God! D: He's so damn good as] He opened the door and looked around
[The corner in which was the transition to the bathroom the bathroom main room, hidden in his subconscious mercifully, to protect his mind] . In the bathroom, dominated the white and blue
[Toms devout passion for football eventually struck down somewhere in the interior, after Snape had banished his Fanartikel collection from the hobby and torture chamber] . In the room there was a large corner bath, which was set into the ground.
Also there was a large shower in the room in which easily fit two people
[It is extremely important that Harry washed his lover's hair can] . Harry went back to his room to see the view on. He came out and saw the garden and dnn forest behind where you could see the water shimmering through the trees.
[underwater forest. Home of the incredible Unterwasserregenbogeneinhörner.] Harry was that of Hauelfen arrive from its thought-world out of there.
[The house-elf called Lucie and give the room turns out to be less exciting and challenging than expected. Lucie conjures up everything that is just what Harry reads from his name.] "Then let's begin. So the first thing I'd like a four poster bed and just go there, " said Harry, pointing directly in front of the large glass window by the door
[so that from the outside at any - in this case then, er, the unicorns? - Could come in the future to benefit them, like Harry steeled his white astral body sprawled in bed] .
But just to be sure to read Harry fall on the bed. It was fantastic soft, it was just perfect. Thus in a two and the rest of the room.
[You can never have enough black and silver-green perfect poster beds have] Meanwhile, Severus met at a Tom. Tom was sitting at his desk and looked at some old jobs.
[Orders for Seebirnen that could make the inside of the anti-sun dome light again. And pieken because it can not remove them Dumbledore.] [Severus tells all applied, as Harry was abused by the Dursleys and dressed bad. Tom is very shocked and feel sorry for both together Harry, who is shy and so much cuter and sweeter than they had ever imagined. Buy It must hold the two against each other and hug each other. These feelings are so great!] "But the worst thing, the act of Harry's relatives. Treat him like a house elf, "said Severus, looking exactly Tom in the eye.
[Severus treated only house elves like house-elves] "How often do you that, they treat him like a house elf?" Tom asked again for credibility.
[Tom can not believe it, after all he is Voldi-Poldi, the advocate of vigilante justice! As hard as steel in mind and body. Sexy and justice. It is accompanied by his faithful horse, the robotic underwater rainbow unicorn Pr1nc3zz # 307, and his partner (in battle, as on the sheets), the incorruptible Severus Sevi-Putzi "Oil Mane 'Snape, also called" The Bat ". Together they are an effective team mercilessly in the name of justice, Hero of widows and orphans, enemy of the wicked, beyond the influence of State and good taste: they are team "Oh, my God, what is it? This should see a doctor urgently "(It also briefly calls FAIL-team - simply because they have failed to conceive to be an acronym that makes sense)!] [Tom and Severus decide to go against the first plans first shopping with Harry, and then kill the Dursleys as slowly as possible. T-Shirts and death! Now have to huddle together and hold the two against each other. So great is this demand.] Sun, the two huddled together on the sofa and let the time rush past him.
[Harry up in between for a change, a clearly formulated ideas:] Harry, who had been given his room ready, looked at everything carefully.
~ Finally I have my own room and that's great! ~
[And then all hungry, and go into Harry's room to eat around there, because the new and exciting is] [Description of Harry's new facility. Against all expectations, is in the room with only a single canopy bed] The two discovered the Harry covered with soft carpets Floor in front of the fireplace are. [I can not but be the only one who suddenly so phrases like "naked" and "Tiger Head" have jumped into your head?]
was before him to eat a lot, that Harry was there to destroy.
[with his ax. For as we remember, Harry is an ax murderer.] "Your room has become really good. Especially the colors I like. In particular, the vote of black, green and silver, "Severus said something quietly, not Harry too much to scare
[Finally, Harry had an ax in his hand] . Harry turned to the two.
"I think it also very nice and comfortable in front of everything, "Harry beamed at the two
[as he stroked his ax. He had nicknamed "Axe" baptized.] .
[The happy family begins their dinner, and Tom brings the same out with it.] Harry as you know now that you are my son, I wanted to ask you whether you accept your birth name. Your own lights name is Alexander Slytherin, "said Tom
[blah, Harry finds the cool because he described as" experienced Harry "just terrible (secretly he missed but a couple of middle name) is determined, and Tom and Sevi plaguing quite terrible Guilt feelings because they were always so mean to him. Because this is uncomfortable to them, talk like that but not over, but come back to her favorite subject: shopping and snuggling] "So we'll call you today Alexander!. But you'd best go to bed now and sleep a bit. Tomorrow we will go shopping after all. As yet we have to be rested, or not? "Severus smiled at Harry, stroking his back.
[All go to sleep. And somewhere in the house operated by the ghost of Maximilian Klonkadinkel a toilet flush]
