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I saw a million people change, but I will stay the same

First a little update on the whole feeling side:
He said he couldn't answer his mails while in Bolivia, now he's back in Peru and still hasn't answered. You know, I don't think it is too much to ask of my boyfriend to at least tell me something nice. I am fucking alone in India and it feels as if he doesn't even care how I'm doing. This hurts so fucking much, I can't tell you. I hate myself or being this way, being needy, but I as much as I love it here, I still feel kinda lonely and I just want to hear he still thinks of me. I think without my wonderful friends at home making me laugh a lot, I would really go cray-cray over here.
And I hate being sad.
I hate the way he treats me right now, what the fuck is wrong?! Everything used to be okay... I don't get it.

And excuse me for being so whiny about it all the time :(

Then, let me tell you what I miss about Goa (and Arambol in particular):

- the sea
- all the people I met there
- wearing shorts and short skirts and tops (you gotta cover up in the rest of India)
- the sea
- swimming in the sea
- lying at the beach
- the bookstore and the guy who worked there who would talk about books with me
-the sea

but I am so looking forward to see Hampi and the North and... ugh. I love it!!!!
 

Erst a small update to the whole Gefuehlssache:
first he has written that he can not answer his mail while he is in Bolivia, and now he is back in Peru and has still not written. I just think that it is not too much to ask from my friend would be to write me something nice. I'm fucking alone in India and it feels so interested in it as him not even how I feel. That feels so fucking hurt easily. I hate myself for the fact that ih am so that I need confirmation, but as much as I love it here, sometimes I just feel lonely and I want to hear single axis, that he thinks of me sometimes.
But to my wonderful friends I least often to laugh and without you I would be crazy \u0026lt;3
I hate to be sad, I hate how he treats me just what the hell is going on? Everything was okay ... I do not understand.
(and Mom, please just say nothing at all this, I know your opinion anyway, okay)

And apologized that I have all the time so rumheule: (

Now let me tell you what I Goa (and mainly Arambol miss):

- the sea
-all the people I know there
- shorts and short skirts and tops to wear
- the sea
- swimming in the sea
- on the beach
- the book store and type of working there and with me about books spoke
- sea

but I am also so much to Hampi un the north, I love it here!!