Actually like I so damn not old FFs, but I got the dates some old bookmarks are deleted and it again found the pearl, the simply wonderful here fits. It is like the essence of Harry Potter Badfic:
title of the story: Vampire Kiss .
Fandom: Harry Potter .
Author's Name: black angel
The boring plot: Harry is Voldemort's son . And a demon. In addition, he is actually Alex and Dumbledore is evil. Voldemort and Snape are on top of that a couple and stay in a Manor. Ergo, everything is as always in Badficland!
The anti-quality of the characters: Badfic So Dumbledore is quite in character ...
The most typical RS / G error: drive tears to one's eyes
Excerpts from the worst of the story:
Harry stood outside in the garden and just cleared the garden tools in the shed. This Harry groped his way out, as it was now night, and Harry could see his hand before his eyes.
1.The hell on earth [Joa, it will be coming in about]
Harry stood outside in the garden and just cleared the garden tools in the shed. This Harry groped his way out, as it was now night, and Harry could see his hand before his eyes. [If he could see nothing that would clean up the garden, too dangerous.]
[night Despite the well-illuminated it creates darkness Harry to push on all kinds of objects]
Through his many bruises Harry realized exactly where he had stumbled. [In contrast to people without bruising, feel not know where they find themselves.]
Because this year made his living relatives to Harry's pure hell.
[Cut, descriptions of how Harry is being abused. He is beaten by Vernon and Petunia and Dudley gear gives him inhuman problems]
this absorbing or beat Vernon Harry not only with the fist, but with all that he could just reach. Harry also saw
Accordingly, He had all light and heavy injuries. Some of them had become inflamed and hurt even more. can [The fact that he has to work at all, or walk two meters on the distribution of light and heavy injuries: Bruises on arms and legs, slight injuries on both earlobes and a severe inflammation directly on the third left nostril hair. Ouch!]
Harry was just happy to be able to finally back in the cellar, because down here it was pretty safe as none of his relatives here, went down.
[...]
Harry sat down on his filthy blanket that was the only one in the room. [If the Dursleys had a laundry room in the basement so the ceiling would not be dirty. Makes sense. Meanwhile] flew Hedwig from Harry's shoulder on the floor. Harry pulled out of his pocket two letters, the first letter was addressed to his friends and the second was aimed directly at Dumbledore.
The letters Harry could only write because Pentunia was distracted by a neighbor [Why Pen Tunia be seduced by a neighbor, before Harry opens up in the cellar, which enters but him anyway never someone who can write letters to me not quite. But perhaps the best ever else is sitting not in their 24/7-Keller-High-Tech-Überwachungszentrum] and Vernon and Dudley at home were [They were busy trying to fry babies and drown puppies] .
[Harry asks (in a "request" sound) his owl Hedwig, who always knows always what Harry feels just to deliver the letters to his friends]
Harry meanwhile lay in [his dirty blanket / a puddle / An air castle / a sarcophagus full of unicorn blood - please delete as appropriate] and closed his eyes.
A small smile spread on his lips. Because his dream was wonderful in contrast to his daily experiences [™] . Harry dreamed he [ was a] Zar
Like This time Harry found himself back in the living room [his tsarist palace] . The room had been attending his last dream not changed.
[blah, there are bookshelves in the living room and a devilish comfortable sitting area. As befits the castle of the Dark Lords] .
[Harry looks for a while the sweet Voldi-Poldi, as the holding of a book in a soft chair taking a nap and then go into the dungeon, "to get some hitting to entertain" .]
but the beat was one of the few Harry could see the castle.
So sat Harry with the snakes to get them to talk, because he could find the odd spell or just the latest gossip [Trixie has been re-skinned, but because she believes that her skin afterwards so beautiful shines. Hubert has the full and ugly rash on the tail, which is why cheating Ssssusssanne him with a branch.] . But the most beautiful night will be sometime the end, so is this.
Harry woke up in the very early hours of the morning by a knock at the basement window . Total was overtired or rather Harry Turned to window.
saw Harry's owl Hedwig the waiting left in the cellar become. Harry opened quietly read the window Hedwig and the basement . Hedwig read on Harry's low ceiling. And then the wait for Harry to her, to comb the letters to take off.
[OMG, until he opens the window, and then he closes it! Hedwig And like in the basement. KELLER! Through the window! What a twist! More ...
offhand redundancies in this paragraph, I would spare you.]
Harry stroked until she made her way to her cage where even an owl waiting for them perky [Hmm, perky from owls! Tastes like Chicken!] .
Harry opened the first letter from Ron and Hermione.
~ I hope the rest of the holidays with the two may spend ~ Harry thought as he [sighed] pulled the letter close to his body [, Ron's scent breathed] and so a few seconds thought. ~ [Yay, at least this one Badfic Badfic, in which the three may still! * Hop *]
Harry opened the letter and read in by [What, no? He opens it (again)? He reads it? I thought he threw it into the fire!] .
Hey Harry
I think that you do not come to us this summer can, as Hermione is already with us. [One more and they exceed the maximum allowed by their insurance number of people who may reside at the same time at the Burrow. Violations of the rule favoring spontaneous combustion] .
We should maybe keep some distance. For your new friendship with the Slytherni [A Slytherin, several Slytherni. As Gryffindri and Ravencliw. Only Hufflepuff are always alone] . I can not understand. For I can not forget what they did to us. That's why you sollstet me think again who your friends were [Apparently yes the ones you do not see a whole summer, because they are handling your not fit. If he wanted him to see his true friends over the summer, he should just hang out all summer with them, and not with Slytherni - hold ... is there somewhere a circular argument] ?. We'll see you at Hogwarts, where you can then tell me your decision. Dumbledore has also assured us that it goes well with you at your relatives. So they can not handle that bad. Finally, I will tell you that you wrote us both shalt no more letters, we have decided not to read it [because ... cookie!] . But you hope that you realize how the Slytherin [i] [sounds like Fäkalini . Plumbers and sorcerers.] really are and that we are your friends.
[HDGDL,]
Ron and Hermione is [, in the clutches of a sect]
[Harry devastated. He can not understand why Ron and Hermione do not understand that he has concluded with the Slytherin peace. Unfortunately, this is not specified, so the reader can not understand Harry closer it is to soften the stones.
So Harry opens the next letter in the hope that Dumbledore would at least understand him:]
For the Harry but Dumbledore knew what happened here hope and takes them away in here.
The Harry could just forget what he had experienced during the holidays, because that Harry wanted the most easily forgotten.
Hi Harry
up I have to ask me any more letters to write, because I have a lot to do, And I wets the letters so must send back [wet? this also explains why Ron and Hermione do without it, accept additional letters. The is really perverse, Harry!] . Furthermore, I know that you are okay with your relatives. Also can not hurt a few punches, rather they harden up from [Badfic! Have Dumbledore as we know it and love ♥] . So stick to your relatives, see you after the holidays.
Dumbledore
[PS: Muahahahahaha]
Harry broke in the last bit of hope. [* PLING! * Have you heard? Sounds like the fragile hope of hitting the highest note on a xylophone from Feengerippe - with the lower leg bone of an underwater rainbow unicorn]
Harry lay down and began to whimper softly..
[Harry can not believe that it all so let "erleine. Embittered, he tears up the letters and vows to "rake" is. Presumably with the products in the shed from the beginning]
[He falls asleep again and flies in his dreams after Slytherin Manor ... this is probably the second home of Voldi if he does not grade in his castle sits.]
second Happy Birthday
Dumbledore had sent letter to Harry just because [, evil laugh] leaning back in his chair.
~ I have to think about what I do with Potter. He slowly gets self-confidence, but what is worse, he rebelled. And I can not simply use the time because I need a mindless slave who does everything I ask of him without it there is the question. ~ Dumbledore's thoughts were interrupted by the knock on the door. [No matter how badly they write, they somehow manage all Badfic! Dumbledore's character to take quite excellent.]
He sat up in his chair and asked the guests come. It turned out that it is a member of the inner order.
"What do you want Max [Yes, they are the henchmen of Dumbledore's orders: Alastor Mad-Eye Moody, Dedalus Diggle, Mundungus Fletcher, Elphias Dodge and Max, the most feared by all!] If you I do not report at the end of the vacation report? "Dumbledore asked in an irritated tone.
~ If there is not some important information out jump, I will duly criminalization. ~ He thought and thought itself is a proper punishment for Max [An even worse punishment than it simply "Max" to name?] .
[Max reported that the Potter boy, absolutely had to suck the energy, as his forces were about to break the seven-time shields. Or something.]
~ I was afraid. The boy is in a few days 17th This means that his spell soon break and it turns. I was hoping I would have suppressed his true nature enough to prevent it from breaking out [Mommy, why are all the Harry Potter fanfics right?] . Now I only have one option and that is to let him kill. He would have given a good puppet. [Muahahahaha!] But for that I have a nice birthday gift for him, even if it comes a little earlier. [Tip: It is self-made, embroidered, and Ďumbier has the blueprints for it downloaded on the Internet]. ~
[Dumbledore tells Max, Harry kill before breaking the spell, and before Harry can learn about its true past. * Dun dun Dunh! *]
Meanwhile, Max was on his way to him Privet Drive. There, Max lay in wait, waiting that it was dark. [Whew, fortunately, Harry can see in the dark hands.]
[Max looks Harry in the first floor of the house, found there only the Dursleys and then search the ground floor.]
But here he was just an ugly furnished house.
[After comparing the Dursleys for a while with animals, Max comes out, they want to look in the basement.]
He sneaked into the basement with a drawn wand. After a short time he found Harry in the last cellar where he was sitting his owl Hedwig stroked [This is a euphemism for ... wet letters?] . Max quietly opened the door and entered. [Max has X-ray vision!]
[Harry startles, and it occurs to him that Vernon has burnt his wand. Max then tortures him with a broke "Crucio".]
This together with the pain and fell to his hands, which was the fact that his body had come completely down. But there was no [Harry is totally namely the hard-boiled pig] According to Harry . Max read the curse so long for Harry until he almost fainted. [Max, you shall kill him, torture is not eternal in Emo! Distraction. If he comes back to himself and then scratches to "My Immortal" YOU are to blame.]
Harry tried to more to push into the corner [what he did not succeed because he was unconscious. Harry cursing his poor memory] . Max cold smiled and raised his wand again upon him. He was just a death sentence award [Finally!] , as is also a spell on Harry formed [Finally!] .
by the spell of Max was thrown against the wall. Harry looked a few seconds to hurt because he was not able to explain the situation. [But Harry remembered that he was in a Badfic, and then it all seemed clear and it was good.]
[Although Harry was tortured to death for, it creates to run away and run straight into the arms of Snape, rumlungert randomly from the house.]
Harry heard a noise behind him and squeezed absolutely terrified of his professor.
[Snape shows Max with a black magic curse ankle, and conjures him into a dungeon. How does the halt so. Then Harry cuddled a bit on him, and because everything is so disturbing, Snape decides to take the boy home with them.]
Snape grabbed Harry in the arm. Then screamed and collapsed unconscious Harry [You Wet Bulb his Achillesarm have touched!] . Snape caught Harry on this before the Floor landing.
with Harry in his arms after he Apparated Slytherin Manor [Voldis Tsar's palace. We remember] directly into a guest room, set to Harry there in the bed. He undressed him to see if he was injured [Yes, yes, they say in these Badfics at the beginning of all wants, and end up never give anyone know where babies come here all the aces are] . Startled, Snape pulled the air when he saw all the injuries to Harry. It hardly was a place that was not injured in Harry's body. [The Dursleys had not even before his magnificent hair back halted. : [(((]
Snape is very shocked and then spends a few hours trying to heal Harry. Somehow. Until Harry's condition stabilized]
So has read the first time Snape all the problems appear to be, as the Potter boy is here to reset [Snape has something for Employees] and just went to sleep. [I like his attitude.]
third A conversion with consequences [Can we now finally vampires and kisses? Who bets that? Who against? : D]
Severus it was his bed and slept peacefully even when the door opened to his room. Peered through the door, a head, to see if the owner of the room was already awake.
crept quietly to Person through the door straight to bed down. There, the person sat on the bed of Severus, his long hair from her face and then walked to Severus cheek. This
clung to his hand and began to purr. The stranger ran his hand into the neck of Severus migrate to crawl in there. [Snape is just an oversized bat when he is awake. When he sleeps he's just a very, very greasy cat]
[The mysterious stranger in Voldi-Polids Tsar palace lies down to Snape to bed, they snuggle and then it're off to the duel of the oral cavity. I know you've all been waiting there:]
The Stranger explored the mouth of Severus [and discovered 3 new species.] and was intoxicated by his taste. The two tongues off in a passionate battle, Severus times in the mouth and then back to the stranger.
Severus read during the kiss his hand over his shoulder at the back of a stranger walking. The two ended the kiss only when they ran out of air. [later turned out that the stranger is one of the three species had already been discovered before, and they just wore a new coat.]
The stranger [Who is this hot explorers?] let his hand back to Severus beam wander. Severus opened his eyes and looked directly into his eyes and smiled at the stranger in love.
"Tom, you know how much I really love you?" He asked in a warm, dark tone.
Tom saw in Severus black eyes and sank in them.
"I love you too and I will always do," he whispered to Severus as he sank more and more in Severus eyes. [The perfect Badfic-Lover. . This "Tom" must be something like Fabio]
[courageous journalists have succeeded in raising a image :
] [More tongue duels. Tom Fabio asks his beloved prince, where he last night has stuck. He has him but missed so.]
Severus tried through the fog that had formed by Tom's actions [When I try to imagine it, it stinks. : /] considering what he had done yesterday. Slowly formed a picture of a boy with terrible injuries and wounds in his head. [Ah, Snape last night a little boy the lollipop stolen and thrashed him for it. Yes, that is Snape. ♥]
[Snape remembers that it is the boy to Harry, who still is always in the guest bed. Now the two of them on to check on him. It could also candy could have!]
Unfortunately, Tom did not see who was the boy, as Severus was so that he could not see his face. But pity came up in him, too bad the boy was sent to. [Tom is really sweet. Where SNAPI Putzi has only been excavated? :) So gentle, and compassionate, charitable and] hissed Tom [... "What's Potter here in this room?" aggressive] . Severus sighed and thought,
[Severus tells Tom how he saved Harry, but that the boy has suffered enough and that Tom will take care of him while he sleeps. Tom gets them immediately and with compassion for another kiss Snape He immediately prepared to Harry to hold her hand.]
Tom walked over to Harry, to sit on the edge of the bed. He took Harry's hand and stroked his cheek. [As the men do in a Fabio romance be so. Not that I could check the]
~ Who has just done? And I've always thought that you do not have such a childhood as I did. ~ [Voldemort, Harry has always hated just because he believed that had a happy childhood!! MACH SPIRIT SUDDENLY EVERYTHING!]
[Henceforth Tom feels a close bond with Harry.]
were the meantime few days passed and Severus looked back to Harry. He sat down at Harry's bed and examined it just as Tom entered the room.
"And how is he?" Asked Tom to Severus garment.
"The external and internal injuries are all healed [, the only types of injuries that sees a man!] , yet is he not better.
[Tom is baffled. Harry screams for about up to his 17th birthday, the palace together, while Severus and Tom-Fabio is totally confused. But chin up! With Harry's birthday is approaching and the redemptive revelation about Harry's Badfic-Typical past.]
"I have something like that with only my own conversion experience, but that can not be. Since I belong to the last demons family here in England. So it can not belong to our nature, "Tom said as he considered whether it was better Harry. [: D And not even the most beautiful thing about the mess]
But it was not so, as Harry pointed on over and writhed in pain. Slowly, Harry began to change. First, Harry greater. He was now the proud size of 1.85 m [Now he is exhausted not only and run down completely, but emaciated, exhausted and ! Sexy big!. D]
The hair was somewhat longer. Now, you made him up to his feet [these are the tentacles that are match for him instead of legs. Never slip again! Never have to feel hyper-sensitive sites on bruises! Squid on their own preparation] and stained snow white, his skin turned the color of [Abstract: It now looks so totally out of exotic and sexy. As the bodies just so to have.] . In other Harry
pain grew black wings that spread immediately to its right size [small and dainty? Hey, you know what they say about bees ...] . Also, the rest look of Harry changed greatly. He was now seen as no more Potter.
[But why Harry is a demon? The FIC is still " Vampire Kiss." Where are the promised vampires? : (]
[Harry is once again powerless Tom can not believe what he sees there, and Severus will again cuddling Oh, and suddenly Harry is growing a natural, unique identifier.. A tattoo]
! It was a snake is a dragon wall.
It looked as if the two would fight. Tom hid his face against Severus and said neck finish.
"This is simply unacceptable. That is completely impossible. The can easily not my boy. "Severus, Tom sat in a chair because he was wiped out completely and looked Harry's status. [Congratulations, you have just become a father!]
But the only thing that could determine Severus was that Harry was unconscious. Otherwise, it was him just fine. [...]
far as to do so. 9 more chapters are in demand taking hold.
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